Soon after leaving the military
I found myself alone and unable to connect with others
Former friends and my loved ones
Were like strangers to me

I didn’t like this version of myself
But I didn’t know how to be anything other than what I had become
Persistent violence can do that to a person
Remaking a soul and stamping its mark upon you
Like a cattle brand

You came along during those early years
When I was vulnerable and closed
You seemed strong and open to the world
And I envied that

We were friends for a long time
And without your presence beside me
Filling up some of that emptiness
I might have stumbled down
The wrong path on my way
To discovering the new me
And what I was meant to become

Some years later
I must have grown stronger somehow
And had the ability to function in a way
That made sense to me
Giving me purpose once again

It was then that I realized
Our friendship wasn’t what it seemed
And I was more of an outlet for
Your criticism and mockery

I was devastated
When I cut the ties to our friendship
Having invested so much time into maintaining it
But I realized that such interactions aren’t
Foundations for strong lasting relationships

I haven’t thought about you until recently
When I met someone who reminded me of you
From the time when our friendship was new
And I trusted you with my secrets

I chose to write this
Instead of giving that person my words
And making myself vulnerable to her
Quip of tongue and quick wit

We don’t have to engage with people like that
Giving toxic people our power
Just take it back and be powerful
In and of yourself