Something important has needed my attention for a long while
That something having gnawed at me from the inside out
Demanding to be used
Nurtured
And given serious thought

It is a something that has grown beyond
What my heart and soul can contain
And I need to free it
Plant it and watch it grow

Truth be told
I am scared shitless by the torrent of fear
This decision has unleashed
Within and without

I have learned the hard way
That to tred this path successfully
I must disconnect my heart from my mind
Examine the problem from different angles
Adjusting the lens as I go

In bitter or vulnerable moments
Doubts play games on my resolve
The strongest and weakest parts of me warring within
Sparring for the higher ground to win

It is too easy to feel the heat of failure
Then shove expended effort away as if burned
And not focus on the success of small steps

Doubts creep in and I question my abilities
My sanity
Who am I to attempt such feats?
Aren’t there are others better equipped
To take up the fight?

Yet if I were to save it for another space and time
Wait another lifetime for someone else to solve the problem
Change might never come to pass
And all that I have won and lost
Would have been for naught
And I cannot let that be

So I gently chide myself
Scold the devil on my shoulder
And resolve to follow the fates
For if not me then who?