It starts with the ammunition
In whatever shape or form it happens to come in
It hasn’t penetrated flesh
But the threat is there
Sending cold shivers along my spine
My ears perk up
My senses sharpen
And I try to dodge the bullet
That as of yet hasn’t been fired
Sometimes I catch the danger signs
Early enough to heed their warning
Save myself from the damage
Of their laser focused intrusion
But other times
Someone or something
Finds it’s way to the handle
And pulls the trigger before
I can safely get away
And it is in those times
When the bullet has rammed its way
Into my heart
Past my defenses
That the pain and anguish comes flooding in
My shadow is ripped from my soul
Sending me straight into a hell of my own making
It is in these times
That I must rally within
Though sometimes I feel helpless
In my search to find such fortitude
And prepare myself to face the ravaging cycle
That must always play out
Before I can feel whole again
Feel safe and in control again
Snapshots 
I wrote this in October 2018 shortly after returning from a professional training with co-workers. My PTSD symptoms were warning me that I was not working in a safe environment, yet I chose to let the bullying continue.
I wish I had heeded the warning my conscience was screaming at me at the time this poem was written. Eventually, my decision to ignore the problem blew up in my face and I was faced with some tough choices.
If this poem resonates with you as you are reading it, please reach out to somebody, whether that’s a friend or a counselor. Don’t let the bullies win.